The germs did a number on Big. Soon after my last post, the vomiting began. It finally subsided yesterday afternoon. I think our new home has officially been "initiated."
Needless to say, having him sick has slowed down the moving in process. Not as many items checked off my list as I would like. I'm trying to go with the flow. I have my good moments and my not-so-good moments.
Not only was I taking care of him, but we've had some people working on wiring in the upstairs. So, for naps, we've had to camp out in our new front room. Keeping on top of the vomiting episodes, keeping track of Little and staying out of the workers' way has been quite challenging. Those are the moments I am most thankful we only have two children.
My emotions have been a bit of a roller coaster. I'm so thankful to be closer to family and grateful for all the help we've received during this time. I can't believe how blessed with are to have this place as our home. But at the same time, the organized control freak in me is having a hard time not getting worked up. I like things organized and put away. I don't do well with unfinished projects. The selfish part of me is having a hard time enjoying my children instead of seeing them as obstacles that are getting in the way of me accomplishing my tasks. (I kid you not, Big just came down the stairs and is interrupting me as I type this. He's supposed to be in bed.) I'm also feeling down about Christmas. I know the true meaning of Christmas. I know it isn't about presents, sending out cards, baking, etc. But I've been struggling to find joy this year. Struggling to find time to focus on the true meaning of Christmas. And I'll admit, I'm also sad that I won't have time to bake, watch "White Christmas", or send out Christmas cards. And as for gifts, ha! I know I've bought some things - mainly online, but they're simply piled in an extra room right now. The UPS man comes, leaves it by the front door and I shuffle it into the extra room without even opening the box to see what's inside.
Then, yesterday, I made a trek to Walmart, which is no short trek around these parts. There were things I had to get for the house and I desperately needed to get groceries. Especially since they were calling for snow. Worst Walmart experience of my life. Ever. Hands down. I don't even want to talk about it. Let's just say I almost broke down in tears twice, and I'm not a crier. I finally let the river flow once I was in the car and on my way home. I also came home with a humongous bruise on my shoulder. Please, don't ask.
Yep, most moments I feel like I'm losing it. I just tell myself that life will get back to normal eventually. Although I've learned that it is never the same old normal. Life only evolves into new normals.
I'm so thankful for Hubby. A lesser man wouldn't put up with me. He truly loves me. Hubs, if you're reading this, please hang in there with me, although I have no doubt you will. I love you. I know I don't show it like I should, especially lately, but I truly do. You're my best friend. Thank you for laughing with me during this process and for being so stable. I need you to be stable, and I need you.
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