5 hrs 47 min and counting

Um....

Where to begin?

I've been up since 4:30 this morning. Big deal to you? No? Are you a morning person? Do you have a reason to wake up at that hour every morning? Maybe you have a job and have to get up at that time. Maybe you exercise before going to work every day. Maybe you spend the early morning hours in prayer or meditation. Perhaps you're The Pioneer Woman and your husband owns a ranch, so you have to wake up at that hour.

I, however, have none of those reasons to be awake at 4:30 a.m. My reason, ohhhh, my precious, precious reason, is a child. A child, who shall remain nameless. A child that I grew in my womb and birthed. Me! My child! Me, who does not do well with waking up. I would say, to a degree, I'm a morning person. As I've said before, I'm not a procrastinator, so once I'm awake, I'm ready to go and get things accomplished. It's the actual waking up part that causes me grief.

As a child, my mother would wake us up by singing to us. What is it about moms that make them do that to their children? She would sing things like, "Good morning, good morning, good morning! It's time to rise and shine!" or "This is the Day" or something crazy like that. One day, I finally had enough. I couldn't take the cheerful singing anymore and asked my mom to stop. Her comeback was, "Would you rather me yell at you to wake you up?" I told her I would actually rather her yell, and so she did. Yelling in the first minutes of morning fits my mood so much better than singing. So from then on, once mom started yelling at me up the stairs to wake up, I was a happy camper. Or, as happy as I can be when first waking. Also, from that moment on, I vowed to never sing at my children to wake them. So far, so good.

Anyway, back to this child of mine. He, who shall remain nameless, loves to wake up early in the morning. He always has. Especially during his first year of life he went to bed early and woke up early, but not 4:30 in the morning early. I didn't mind him waking up because it was usually after 6:00 a.m., which is a much easier time to awake in the morning. I also didn't mind because he went to bed so darn early. For that fact alone, my heart skipped a beat every time I thought of this kid. You see, his brother, who shall remain nameless, has always been a night owl. He has always struggled with going to bed at a decent hour. It takes that boy hours to finally fall asleep. So, I was thankful to have a child who fell asleep easily and early.

But then it happened. This child of mine, who had such a wonderful sleep schedule started waking up every morning between 5:00 and 5:30 a.m. Did I emphasize that this happened every day?!!! For months and months!!!!! Just think of it! On second thought, don't think of it, or you might start to cry. It didn't matter what time we put him to bed, he still woke up that early. It didn't matter if he had one nap or two during the day, he still woke up that early. So what's a good mother to do? Well, if Hubby was awake and working out in the basement, a good mother marches down to the basement with said child and hands him off while she goes back upstairs to catch some shut eye. If Hubby isn't working out in the basement, a good mother marches downstairs to the living room with said child, turns on the TV and tries to catch some shut eye while the boy gets brainwashed by the screen. Or something.

Then, the moon aligned with Mars and the earth's tilt on its axis was just so, that said child began sleeping past 6:00 a.m. For about two months. Woohoo! Dream come true!

But, as the moon tends to do, it was just a phase. Sigh.

I was dreading the time change this fall. Dreading it! But once again, Pluto decided not to be a planet, so Neptune aligned with Venus, while Saturn's rings shone brighter and the time change somehow helped?

So thankfully, this morning was just a fluke. I'm praying. Begging. Pleading.

Regardless, I have a plan. And boy-oy-oy-OY am I sticking to it. When said child is a teenager, I'm going to set my alarm from 5:00 a.m. and wake him up. Not just wake him up, I plan on singing him awake! Bwaa ha ha ha haaa! Seriously, it's the only thing that gets me through these early mornings.

Please don't call child services. I really do love my boy. The end.