Homesick

Today is the first day I've felt homesick at all. And I know exactly why I feel this way. Tomorrow is my first meeting with my new MOPS group. It makes me miss my old group terribly.

My MOPS group in the city was totally my life source. When I became a mom for the first time I pretty much hated my life. I know that seems harsh, but having a newborn is the hardest thing I have ever done. Ever. Period. And I don't just mean the physical aspect of having a newborn come out of your body. That was pretty difficult, too.

I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I completely neglected myself and my husband. Getting dressed was rare, showers were but a faint memory. I was alone. Isolated. Cut off from the outside world (having a newborn in January didn't help that part). My basic daily agenda consisted of survival, and that was pretty much it.

But then I found MOPS and I connected with other moms who were in the exact same place. I could be myself and not feel ashamed. In fact, I felt loved, encouraged and cheered. I was in my MOPS group for six years. They were embraced me. The mess of a person I was and am.

I'm sure my new group will be just as wonderful, but I'll have to go through the whole process of making new friends again. I know I can do it. I've done it before. But it's not something I particularly love. In fact, it is something I literally have to force myself to do. I like to be quiet and keep to myself.

So tomorrow, I'll put on another brave face and try to connect.

For now, though, I'll just be homesick for my MOPS sisters in the city.
You know who you are. And I love you.